Strongly influenced by the matriarchy culture, Cham women play a central role in the family, including the arrangement of children’s marriage. Cham culture researcher Inrasara observes changes over years.“According to matriarchy culture, all family events such as weddings, funerals and customs are decided by the mother. Cham men stay with their wives’ family after marriage forever. But the tradition has changed over recent years and young couples now can stay on their own while maintaining the matriarchal culture”, he said.
The matriarchal culture is fully reflected in Cham weddings. The bride’s family makes all the decisions: they go to bridegroom’s family and bring him home. Before that, the couples need a matchmaker to know each other, which usually takes a while. Once both families agree, the betrothal ceremony is organized and the weeding will take place 15 days after that. On the wedding day, the newly married couple share their first dinner by the fire. This symbolic meal is understood that from now on they will spend the rest of their lives together, share happiness, and stay side by side to weather difficulties. The matchmakers join their first meal to help them overcome the shyness and teach them moral principles. In the first night of their marriage life, the couple sleeps on a bed with three candles and a tray of betel leaves and areca nuts being the borderline separating husband and wife. The bridegroom lies on the east and the bride on the west. They can talk but not touch each other. After 3 days, the borderline is removed and they officially become husband and wife.
Their official marriage life is celebrated with a party organized by the bride’s family on the 4th morning of their wedding. All the challenges that the couple needs to overcome before they can officially live together make Cham people treasure their marriage. The wife is free from all heavy work when she becomes pregnant. The husband will then go and look for herbal leaves which wife will need after she delivers the baby. He will also seek help from a village midwife to make sure that his wife and their baby gets the best care. Close to the delivery date, the husband prepares a worshipping ritual dedicated to the Local Goddess Po Inu Nugar of Cham people to pray for safe delivery.
Such traditions and rituals of the Cham people are believed to serve as hidden strings tightening the bonds between family members. Newly-wed Rohim seems still overwhelmed with happiness. “I’ve just got married. We had a truly traditional wedding. It took us an effort to make sure that we honor all the customs and rituals but we felt proud become husband and wife now. We will work together for our family”, he said.
During the urbanization in recent years, the lives of Cham people experience many ups and downs. The rising and falling tide of history also resulted in certain changes. But the traditional values of the authentic Cham culture stand the test of time in the Cham community where the social norms for behavior, and the role, responsibilities, and obligations of families are strictly honored.