A Norwegian coming-of-age celebration: Turning 15

“Thank you so much for coming here today. Next year, I’ll turn 15, and I’ll have my coming-of-age celebration in Norway. I would love to invite everyone to join me there, but I know it might be difficult for everyone to travel so far. So, this year, while I’m visiting Vietnam, I want to have this celebration here so that we can all enjoy this special occasion together,” said Vietnamese-Norwegian Pham Thanh Mai.

Born and raised in Oslo, Mai spoke with pride and emotion as she celebrated an early coming-of-age ceremony with relatives in Hanoi, ahead of her official confirmation in Norway next year.

Coming-of-age, also known as confirmation, is an important celebration for many young Norwegians and typically takes place in the year they turn 15. It’s seen as a special moment when a young person moves from childhood to a more independent stage of life.

For many families, confirmation is not only a religious or humanist ceremony but also a meaningful family celebration. That was the case for Mai’s family, who chose to mark the occasion with relatives during their recent visit to Vietnam.

Back in Norway, however, she will take part in the official confirmation ceremony next year, following the customary procedures.

Mai’s father Pham Ngoc Hai, 50, who has been living in Norway for more than 20 years, explained, “Mai’s ceremony will take place on May 15 at the City Hall. Before that, she will attend several weeks of classes on civic values, ethics, and the responsibilities of being a citizen. Then, on May 15, there will be an official ceremony at the City Hall. After the ceremony, our family will organize a celebration at home and invite everyone to join us.”

Traditionally, confirmation was closely connected with the Christian Church. Young people who choose a Christian confirmation spend several months learning about Christianity, values, responsibility, relationships, and important questions about life. The ceremony traditionally took place in a church.

“In the past, people went to a church to be confirmed there. But nowadays, more Norwegians are not religious. So instead, they go to the town hall, usually somewhere close to where they live, and have their confirmation ceremony there. They receive a diploma, and their name is called. After that, they usually go home or book a venue to have a party with family and friends, marking the fact that they have turned 15 and are entering a new chapter in their life,” said Mai.

As many young people in Norway are not religious, they can choose a humanist confirmation instead. This is a non-religious ceremony that focuses on human values, ethics, responsibility, friendship, identity, and making good choices. The young people attend courses before the ceremony and then take part in a formal celebration, often in a public or special event venue.

The celebration is typically a very important day for the whole family. Parents, grandparents, relatives, and close friends come together to celebrate the young person. Mai’s father, Mr. Hai, revealed some details of his plan for her confirmation.

"She’ll participate in a standard program organized by the government and the community. She’ll have to learn a few different things about society and ethics for a few weeks. And then, on the day, she will participate in a ceremony organized by the community. So, basically, that will be the official ceremony for her becoming 15 years old. And then we’ll hold a big party at home, inviting close friends and family members from Vietnam. If somebody can come visit us on the day, that would be excellent. That will be the big party for her. The big party is more family-oriented, with close friends and family members."

So, turning 15 is meaningful for Mai and many other young Norwegians. But confirmation does not mean that a person legally becomes an adult at that age. And Mr. Hai, as a parent, has a few concerns of his own.

“There are mixed feelings when you have a daughter growing up. You know, she’s becoming more like an adult, and it means she’s getting further and further away from her father and mother. But, on the other hand, there’s also the feeling of looking forward to seeing your daughter getting older, more mature, and becoming more of an adult. So it just means we’re less able to control what she thinks. Of course, what we’re trying to do is give her as much advice as we can. But then, listening to the advice and deciding her own way is all up to her.”

Whether celebrated in a church, a city hall, or around a family table, confirmation remains an important milestone. It marks the transition toward adulthood while bringing generations together in celebration. And while the tradition is distinctly Norwegian, for families like Mai’s it also reflects something universal: the pride, hopes, and emotions that come with watching a child grow up.